A few years back, there was an article in Ananda Vikatan about how parents of children writing their Board exams treat the people in general. Any visitor who comes to the house is clearly made to feel uncomfortable and any invitation to a function is rejected with the excuse "My son is in +2" or "My daughter is in tenth".
Now my daughter is writing her Board exams and I vowed never to treat this as a special occasion and put pressure on others. But I failed to realize how much pressure there is from society on us. Last week my cousin sister and her family had come for a short trip and all my neighbours and friends were aghast that I was entertaining guests when my daughter was preparing for her exams. When I went out on a shopping trip to Dadar , I could see plain disgust in the faces of my friends- their thoughts being, what kind of a person is she?
These are just a few instances when there were no words of admonition or advice, but people expected me to show more responsibility. But all through the year, there have been heaps of advise for me regarding how and what I should be doing with a daughter facing her 'Board exams'. "Feed her frequently with protein rich diet" or "Give her lot of carbs" and "You must be crazy not to send her for tuitions. It actually helps students to work systematically" (And I know of students who systematically bunk the classes) or "What ? She is not going for IIT coaching or CET coaching? How do you expect her to do well in the entrance exams? " Its questions and advice all through the year and just to remain sane and do what you think is right for your child is a big task. The influence exercised by the peer parents and the society in general regarding handling a child facing the Board exams is tremendous. I have become a sort of recluse in this one year and dread interacting with anyone, including my kabbadiwala and dhoodhwallah for fear of advice.
I just hope that not bending to the external pressure and holding her own helps my daughter in facing the world and making her confident that she can achieve her goals without being spoon fed (literally!) and without being tutored!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sports day
During our short stint in Singapore, the children had their Sports Day at school. I was awed by the arrangements, the huge stadium and the specially trained squad of cheerleaders. Having studied in a government-aided school where the classes were packed with children and any event was just limited to a few special invitees among the children. I never got to witness any large scale sports event in my school days.
Now, in Mumbai, my girls urge me to come and enjoy their Sports Day. But I could not make it in the past few years. This year, being the last year at school for my elder daughter, she wanted me to come. But the last minute preparations drove me crazy. Since my daughter was the flag bearer for all the three branches of her school in the march past, she had to be impeccably dressed, with shining white cap and gloves. All the instructions were given to her at the last minute since she was busy with her Preliminary Exams. Ultimately, we ended up finding the gloves and caps, just one night before. And all of those caps and gloves were stark grey- not even close to white. Late into the night, we had to scrub them, wash them with whiteners and due to lack of time, had to dry them fast with hair dryers and table fans. Last minute ironing of the uniform and running around for a suitable coat had pushed me to the limits and I decided that I needed a break. But the thought of missing out on my daughter's last year at Sports Day gave me the impetus to attend it.
And what an eye opener it was! The stadium was as huge as the Singapore one and cheering squad was so colourful and enthusiastic . Each winner was cheered heartily by their school and booed by other schools. For the first time ever, I thought that there is some good in the brimming population of India-such school events are made so colourful because the stadium is full of noise and cute little kids. Comparatively, the event at Singapore downright boring - it was not as noisy and the stadium not as filled as it was here. It was an event of fun and frolic for the kids. I noticed that the parents too were joining the celebrations and cheering.
Truly a memorable day.
Now, in Mumbai, my girls urge me to come and enjoy their Sports Day. But I could not make it in the past few years. This year, being the last year at school for my elder daughter, she wanted me to come. But the last minute preparations drove me crazy. Since my daughter was the flag bearer for all the three branches of her school in the march past, she had to be impeccably dressed, with shining white cap and gloves. All the instructions were given to her at the last minute since she was busy with her Preliminary Exams. Ultimately, we ended up finding the gloves and caps, just one night before. And all of those caps and gloves were stark grey- not even close to white. Late into the night, we had to scrub them, wash them with whiteners and due to lack of time, had to dry them fast with hair dryers and table fans. Last minute ironing of the uniform and running around for a suitable coat had pushed me to the limits and I decided that I needed a break. But the thought of missing out on my daughter's last year at Sports Day gave me the impetus to attend it.
And what an eye opener it was! The stadium was as huge as the Singapore one and cheering squad was so colourful and enthusiastic . Each winner was cheered heartily by their school and booed by other schools. For the first time ever, I thought that there is some good in the brimming population of India-such school events are made so colourful because the stadium is full of noise and cute little kids. Comparatively, the event at Singapore downright boring - it was not as noisy and the stadium not as filled as it was here. It was an event of fun and frolic for the kids. I noticed that the parents too were joining the celebrations and cheering.
Truly a memorable day.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Gastronomics
I recently got an assignment to translate a menu card. I should say, it was very tough and made me realize how much of a novice I am in the culinary department. I actually had to look for the English meaning for words like Lasagna and saute. I remember the time when I took my maiden flight as a teenager and was offered yogurt. I didn't even know what it was! And I completely hated pizza the first time I had it. I am always confused about the items in a menu card and comfortably settle down to what my husband orders for me in restaurants.
I was never fond of cooking and until my marriage, I never got the opportunity to, either. The house was always full of women who would never allow me to cook (not that I very much wanted to!). Then, on the eve of my wedding, I was running a high temperature, which others thought was due to my anxieties of entering a new family. The reality?- it was due to the fear of having to cook. Luckily, the first few days with the in-laws went smoothly as they didn't even allow me to prepare coffee. The actual nightmare started after a week, when my husband and I were settling down in our new house.
My mother-in-law stayed with us for a week and taught me how to prepare filter coffee. She made me stand next to her when she did the actual cooking. Once she left, I felt like I was at sea. I could not differentiate between tur dal and moong dal and often mixed them up in my preparations. I used to grind the batter for idli. but forget to add salt to it. And later on, I would wonder why the idlis were not fluffy, like how they used to be back home. I used to add entire vessel of leftover curd to the milk to ferment it and the next day, I had to endure horribly sour curd. But thanks to my husband's patience, I slowly improved (It' s another story that he became a better cook out of frustration!).
These days, I prefer not to put myself through such torture. Instead, I hand over kitchen duties to my mother and happily stay away from shows like Master Chef Australia and Master Chef India.
I was never fond of cooking and until my marriage, I never got the opportunity to, either. The house was always full of women who would never allow me to cook (not that I very much wanted to!). Then, on the eve of my wedding, I was running a high temperature, which others thought was due to my anxieties of entering a new family. The reality?- it was due to the fear of having to cook. Luckily, the first few days with the in-laws went smoothly as they didn't even allow me to prepare coffee. The actual nightmare started after a week, when my husband and I were settling down in our new house.
My mother-in-law stayed with us for a week and taught me how to prepare filter coffee. She made me stand next to her when she did the actual cooking. Once she left, I felt like I was at sea. I could not differentiate between tur dal and moong dal and often mixed them up in my preparations. I used to grind the batter for idli. but forget to add salt to it. And later on, I would wonder why the idlis were not fluffy, like how they used to be back home. I used to add entire vessel of leftover curd to the milk to ferment it and the next day, I had to endure horribly sour curd. But thanks to my husband's patience, I slowly improved (It' s another story that he became a better cook out of frustration!).
These days, I prefer not to put myself through such torture. Instead, I hand over kitchen duties to my mother and happily stay away from shows like Master Chef Australia and Master Chef India.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Obama comes to town!
The whole of India was excited by Mr. President's visit. He and his wife indeed made a charming pair. Their agility, in particular, amazed me since we are used to watching only ageing prime ministers and presidents who find it difficult to climb even couple of stairs to a podium. But while chatting with my daughters about missing out on meeting Obama in person , my younger daughter commented that she was happy that he was not visiting her school- she pitied those school children who would have had to slog for hours on end to practise their dances, speeches and behaviour in the presence of the president. The students' Diwali holidays would have been ruined!
I totally agree with her view. Even during my school days, a visit by a dignitary was a nightmare for the students. I vividly remember one such visit by a governor and how we were made to stand in Chennai's summer heat for hours together to practise welcoming him with flowers. We were made to wear pattu pavadai (heavy ones with jari borders) and deck up our hair with kunjalam (as though all the governor was here for, were our hairdos!). We stood there from morning to evening. With each passing hour, we wilted and we weren't even allowed glass of water. It was plain torture and by the time the governor arrived a full 3 hours late, we were totally exhausted and just wished he left quickly. The whole exercise of showering him with flowers and petals (by now, dried ones) lasted for less than two minutes and we had wasted two months practising for it. He hardly noticed us girls and there was no appreciation from the teachers either, for withstanding so much heat and thirst.
Forget being photographed with the governor or getting his autograph, we were only relieved to see the back of him and rushed to grab our bottles of drinking water.
Visiting presidents or prime ministers are a real pain for school children......... there is no fun or excitement left when they are being tortured through continuous practice sessions and extra hours of work. So don't believe the media about Obama's visit being great, ask the school children whether they really understood who they were meeting or whether they actually enjoyed his visit.
I totally agree with her view. Even during my school days, a visit by a dignitary was a nightmare for the students. I vividly remember one such visit by a governor and how we were made to stand in Chennai's summer heat for hours together to practise welcoming him with flowers. We were made to wear pattu pavadai (heavy ones with jari borders) and deck up our hair with kunjalam (as though all the governor was here for, were our hairdos!). We stood there from morning to evening. With each passing hour, we wilted and we weren't even allowed glass of water. It was plain torture and by the time the governor arrived a full 3 hours late, we were totally exhausted and just wished he left quickly. The whole exercise of showering him with flowers and petals (by now, dried ones) lasted for less than two minutes and we had wasted two months practising for it. He hardly noticed us girls and there was no appreciation from the teachers either, for withstanding so much heat and thirst.
Forget being photographed with the governor or getting his autograph, we were only relieved to see the back of him and rushed to grab our bottles of drinking water.
Visiting presidents or prime ministers are a real pain for school children......... there is no fun or excitement left when they are being tortured through continuous practice sessions and extra hours of work. So don't believe the media about Obama's visit being great, ask the school children whether they really understood who they were meeting or whether they actually enjoyed his visit.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Devasthanada Oottaa (Temple food)
Last week I made a short trip to Dakshin Kannada. I visited Saradambika temple at Sringeri and Annapoorneswari temple at Oranadu. The temple at Orandu is situated right on top of the mountain peak and is very beautiful and serene, set in the midst of lush green mountains. Not being a very religious person, the trip was primarily to accompany my music teacher for a concert at the temple.
The most attractive part of the trip was the winding, well-laid roads around the ghats and greenery and last, but not the least, the sumptuous food served in the temples. We visited the smaller temples in and around the place and it was surprising to notice that all these temples too serve food (lunch and dinner) to the devotees. We were at a small temple at a place called Kalaseshwar near Sringeri at lunch time and though the tourist crowd was scarce, the whole village as well as the school-going children were there. They all quickly make a visit to the sanctum sanctorum and then, enjoy the food. Even the priests at the temple urge the devotees to have their food first and then take the darshan. Having the Devasthanadha Oota (meaning, food at the temple in Kannada) is considered to be very auspicious and people in and around the temple ensure that you eat well.
At Sringeri , serving the food is a very scientific and systematic process, with huge solar cookers installed inside the premises. The arrangement of the serving plates (in the shape of a pyramid) itself was a worthy sight and number of volunteers involved in the scheme is amazing.
These temples are doing such a great service to the humanity that nobody is left hungry in the villages in and around the temple. There are no beggars and people say that robbery too, is very rare.
This trip was a gentle reminder to me that temples serve not only religious purposes, but also that they serve as socially active centers. It gave me great satisfaction when I bought rice (sold at the temple premises) as my offering to the temple and donated it. I was sure that few mouths were going to be fed with that.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Blood tests
As a student, I wanted to become a doctor just like all other girls of my age, but my scores didn't allow me to become one. The closest I came to working in a hospital was as a paramedic. I worked as a laboratory technologist for a couple of years in a reputed hospital. Handling scores of patients everyday, it was a nightmare to work round the clock. Sometimes, I would be so tired at the end of the day, that preparing blood test reports as the last duty of the day used to be a very tiresome one. I never attached any importance to the numbers I put down as test values. The fact that a patient's blood sugar was too low or that his urea was high didn't matter to me. They all boiled down to just figures which I had to fill up, wind up and go home.
But now, as a responsible wife, daughter and mother, my attitude towards the blood test reports has changed drastically. Every time I take my mother to the doctor or my husband goes for a check up , I am so nervous about the test results. I don't want my husband's blood sugar level to go up by even one milligram and I can't stand the sight of a red mark (sign of high value). I pray fervently that this doesn't mean something grave. Every time I take my children for a blood test , I forge deals with God-an offering for a perfect blood test report.
The same numbers which didn't matter to me as a paramedic is of utmost importance to me now. Now I realize how much it must have mattered to that person involved; how many prayers would have been said while collecting a report. I wish I had more understanding of the responsibility I had towards the patients while preparing those reports. I wish I understood the pain of the person who saw a not- so- good report. Most of the times, our sympathy for people in distress is very superficial and we actually don't connect with their pain.
We never realize the plight of another person unless we're forced into their shoes.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I Met VISHWANANTHAN ANAND!! Twice!!!
Not many opportunities come our way, to meet celebrities in person (this, despite living amidst celebrities like Sachin and hordes of Bollywood film stars in Bandra). But years back, when I was in college, I literally rubbed shoulders with Vishwananthan Anand who was invited as Chief Guest for our college Sports Day (and the surprising aspect was that he too was a college student then). I was part of the reception committee as a member of Students' Union. We had the privilege of spending a few exclusive minutes with him. But the thought of taking his autograph slipped my mind. Now exactly 20 years later, my daughter, as a junior journalist of a newspaper got the opportunity to meet Anand again.
But the amazing feature of this celebrity was his simplicity. He still retains the boyish charms of his younger days , with lot more feathers in his cap. He is also very humble. His wife, Aruna, seems to be a pillar of support to him and personally, I was thoroughly impressed with her sweet smile and concern in giving the people who vied for Anand's attention the opportunity to chat up with him.
Anand is a truly gifted player and a gifted human being with such a supportive better-half.