Train journey in Mumbai

Mumbai life is really hectic for those who travel. But being a housewife and having led a cocooned and protected life, I am dazed at the number of people on the roads at any given point of time. A brief stay in Singapore, where even a line of ten vehicles at the signal is considered a "traffic jam" and is fussed over stood in stark contrast to how Mumbaiites get on with life despite endless traffic jams(in the real sense) and mind-blowing crowds at stations.
The first time, when I travelled by train (despite warnings that the crowds push you and how difficult it is to get in or out of the train of your own free will), I was amazed. We were literally making an "adi pradakshanam"of the station looking for the right platform(I would have garnered more punyam, if I had done that at a temple) and a train with people hanging out of the compartments arrived. My husband, who was a veteran at train travel, urged me to get into a ladies compartment since that, he said, would be relatively less crowded. I obliged, and what a big mistake it was. I had no idea of how far Dadar (the station where we had to get down) was from Bandra and there were no announcements inside the train regarding the approaching station (which again was an expectation after travelling in Singapore) and I also realised that platforms on which the train arrive can be on either side. I felt like a lost child in a mela and was feeling dizzy and nervous, wondering whether I am going to get down at the right time at the right station. Just then, a station arrived and I turned around to ask the lady next to me whether this was Dadar and before I could hear her (I don't even remember whether she answered me) I was pushed out of the exit by a huge crowd as I was standing in the middle of both the exits (a suggestion made by my husband) and was thrown onto the platform. Luckily it turned out to be Dadar station and I triumphantly walked towards my husband and told him that I successfully managed to get out on time and it was really no big deal for me (of course secretly wondering whether he could hear my pounding heartbeat!).
After this episode, I realise how lucky I am to be working from home and really pity the thousands of women who have to travel under the most trying conditions and then return home to do the regular chores. In a city like Mumbai, each working woman must be felicitated for this tremendous feat.
The biggest positive I see in this vibrant city is that people are still courteous, honest and have their sense of humour intact. A great city with great people (there's definitely room for improvement-they could start by giving up spitting chewed paan or gutka all over the place!).

Month of festivals

Every year, July and August are full of Hindu festivals and as a traditional housewife, I like to celebrate all of them with enthusiasm. But , somewhere , I feel I am caught between being traditional and orthodox and also having modern views about celebrating them. On the traditional side, I like to wear my "Madisar", prepare all the items, I like the smell of agarbathis and fresh flowers and like to admire huge rangolis.

But on the modern side, I don't like the "Madi and aacharam"associated with these festivals. In my opinion, "Madi"for a traditional Brahmin family, in the olden days, was to keep away the huge number of family members to maintian cleanliness while preparing large quantities of items during the festivals and this has lost its true purpose somewhere down the line. Now, with nuclear families and small flats , these "Madi"procedures have become more of a shouting and screaming custom to keep the children away from us, scolding them not to touch us or the items prepared before the naivedyam is done. All of this , I feel, finally end up in a scene where the charm of the festival is lost and everyone is fuming, brooding and want the pooja to get over before the rahukalam and grab whatever that is prepared and get away. To add to this , the children have to rush to school and my husband to the office. Gone are the days when we had holidays for these festivals and we helped out Amma with her preparations.
Despite all of that, inviting women over for Varalaksmi Vratham, Ganesh Chathurthi celebrations in Mumbai and "seedai" of Gokulashtami are things I would not like to miss at any cost nor do I want my children to miss them.

Special child and a special friend

Recently I met one of my college-mates after a long time. As close friends, we were a group of 5 , who had a blast and at the same time were good, obedient students. Then, with our lives taking different routes, we drifted apart. After a long gap of ten years I met one of our group mates who had lost her husband recently and had a mentally-backward child to take care of. She was a bubbly, carefree kind of girl in college. So, when I went to meet her, it was heart wrenching to see her , handling this crisis with aplomb and maturity. Hats off to her! Seeing her, I feel ashamed about how much we complain about our lives. We are bothered about not getting things done on time or our children losing couple of marks in tests or a spouse coming home late . But for this friend, taking care of that child while, at the same earning to run the family and taking care of aging parents (being the only daughter) and an aging mother-in-law (her husband had been the only son) is a great feat indeed. She faces it all with a smile and radiates such positive energy.
Meeting this friend has been an eye-opening experience for me . I feel proud of her, in fact, I feel that hers is a feat that overshadows achievements of so many other successful career women. How many of us could have the courage to continue to live when faced with so many difficulties? I only hope that I can be a person worthy of such a friend.

Reports and complaints

My children had their Open House meeting at school last week (a day to collect report cards and meet the respective subject teachers and class teachers). Every time I attend an Open House meeting, I wonder what the parents have to complain about to the teacher, that they take up more than half an hour of the teacher's time. Though the children are allotted a specific time slot to meet the teacher, never does the parent who is ahead of you keeps up the time. The parents talk, talk and talk endlessly with the class teacher. I am always at a loss when it comes to talking to the teacher- I simply cannot find things to talk or complain about. Usually, I am out within seconds after collecting the report card. It's not that my children are such perfect or wonderful students, that I don't have anything to complain about; it's just the feeling that if, as a parent, I cannot control two children at home, I have no right to expect the teacher to control what my child does within the few hours she spends with them. The teachers are, I feel, stressed out enough with having to handle hundreds of children everyday, keep teaching, organizing school activities, correcting test papers and assignment note books and still answer to the parents who come up with complaints such as "My child doesn't finish his/her lunch", "My son has lost two marks in maths class test and it was not even a valid mistake", "My child loses his/her pencil box once in two days"etc.
I personally feel that parents should learn to respect a teacher's profession and not regale them with silly complaints and harass them.
The best way to make these parents realize that the teachers have enough on their plate without extra helpings from them, is to force them to handle at least one session in a year for these children and experience firsthand what the teachers undergo every day of the year. I am sure that then, these Open House meetings would cease to be Complaint meetings!

Moaning in the Monsoon

The famous 'Mumbai Monsoon' is here. But it's not yet raining in full swing! Though the met department and the people in general are worried about the poor rainfall and the papers keep warning us about watercuts, I am one Mumbai housewife who is in fact happy about the low rainfall. I am indeed ready to adjust to watercuts and consume water with more care than walking in the slush and rain water that swirls with paan. Often, you can see people walking ahead of you on the streets, spitting into in the rainwater and then,you are forced to walk through it. If I were the mayor of Mumbai, the first thing I would do, would be to ban paan and gutka chewing in Mumbai. Everytime I walk past a parked vehicle or if a vehicle passes me by, I am doubly careful about any head that pokes out of the window for fear of my saree or dress being smeared with paan. In fact, I suggest that the Mumbai Municipal Corporation provide each citizen with a paan-proof jacket to be worn when they step outside. My daughters and I take care to appreciate any auto driver, whom we observe to be a non-spitter- and believe me,there have been only two of them in the past 3 years of our Mumbai life.

Considering all of this, don't you agree that we're much better off with less rains in Mumbai?

My moment of glory

Staying very close to Lilavathy Hospital in Mumbai has its own advantages. You get to see lot of celebrities who come to visit the VIP patients. Last week Bal Thackeray of Shiv Sena was admitted here. As usual the place was swarming with media vans and cameramen. I was walking through the Lilavathy Hospital gate, which is a thoroughfare to reach the Mount Mary road, and suddenly a group of men, among whom I could recognise Uddav Thackeray came out of the hospital, milling around me. Surrounded by this group making a beeline for the gate where the media men were waiting to get some bites from them, I was pushed right to the middle of it. Being the only woman there certainly put me in a spot. I had no other go than to wait until the group to disperse to get away.

At the end of all this frenzy, I suddenly realised that after all, my face could be splashed all over the news. I was ecstatic. So don't be surprised if you see a the face a woman circled in red in the middle of a throng with a bold caption reading "Who is this mysterious woman?" on India TV-it might just be me!

Bandra sealink

There have been too many people singing the praises of the Bandra-Worli sea link in the past few days. As a Bandraite and one who lives close to the sealink, I am also able to see the downside to the sea link being opened. My evening walks at the Reclamation promenade used to be a very enjoyable, with one stretch of the flyover being blocked to the traffic. One could see group of old women enjoying the breeze while sitting down to chat right on the highway. It was a common thing to see children playing, skating and people walking their dogs. Occasional film shoots (Dhoom 2 had lot of scenes shot at this flyover) provided enough entertainment for the locals. Now this stretch of the highway has been opened for the traffic. The lovebirds who throng the promenade have lost their privacy and their space on the highway. Birds that used to fly around the sea link area have been considerably lessened in number.
Over the years, I shall probably have to go through more of the negative effects of the Bandra-Worli sea-link
But, on the plus side, the sea link at night is definitely worth a watch. Despite all the things that have been lost to the sea-link, I think that is one of the most beautiful structures ever to be erected, at least in Mumbai.(The last line is for Shiv Sena supporters not to hound me!!)