Dealing with death

Dealing with death is always a mental game. In Indian films and serials scenes of death are laden with emotion, especially with women wailing away to glory. As a kid, I used to feel that in real life, I too would wail and grieve like that myself. I never saw death at close quarters until I was about 24. But now, I am facing too many within a short span of time.

I have lost 3 people who were to dear to me in quick succession. First, my father. Then my brother. And now, my uncle- all within 3 short years. I wondered how my reaction would be on seeing someone close to me die. For all my speculation, my reaction to such loss has been surprisingly dignified. Having always had the feeling that I would mourn a death rather loudly, I dealt with it quite well.

Some of my close relatives, most importantly my mother (who lost her husband and son in quick succession) have shown such great restraint in expressing their grief, that people tell them that it isn't good for their health. Knowing my mother well, I feel that it's her way to deal with her grief. She just ignores it and carries on with daily life as if nothing has happened. In fact,she doesn't even entertain any discussions about it and simply walks out of the room or ignores any talk about her deceased son or husband. Some people have even suggested some psychiatric help for her, but I feel rather proud that my mother can deal with life and death the same way-so coolly.

It takes a lot of mental courage and grit to treat every situation equally and in fact, I have never seen her very ecstatic or enthusiastic about any happy occasion either. I feel she has this "Mahaan" kind of attitude even without being too spiritual or religious. She doesn't read self-analysis books or go to discourses. She doesn't have any spiritual guru. But still she has this great composure, treating every situation and both positive and negative criticism alike. I just hope that I inherit her qualities some day.