The Ten Golden Rules of Indians-With Regard to Maids and Miscellaneous House-Help
Rule no.1: It is taboo to exchange greetings or pleasantries with them.
Rule no.2:
Clause a) If they don't turn up for a day, screaming at them the moment they are in sight the following day is in order.
Clause b) It is imperative that they are never given a chance to explain the reason for their absence.
Rule no.3:
Clause a) Bonus payment is only authorised in situations wherein some extra favour is required from them .eg. they have to wash more utensils when guests are around, they have to do couple of extra chores,etc.
Clause b) Money offered for a good cause is strictly forbidden.
Clause c) That money is required, instead, to be spent on shopping and cheap sales.
Rule no.4:
Clause a) Never introduce them to the guests or relatives.
Clause b) Treating them as though they don't exist is recommended.
Clause c) Panic at their absence when guests are around should not be revealed at any cost.
Rule no.5:
Clause a) Encouragement of kids and other members who are younger in age to the maid to address them by their first name is recommended.
Clause b) Take the liberty to talk to them in the rudest manner possible.
Rule no.6: Any eatable or beverage provided to them should never be freshly made or undiluted. They are forbidden from having the coffee or tea of the same quality as we do.
Rule no.7: Any children of theirs, if present, are banned from sitting on our chairs or sofa touching any of our children's toys.
Rule no.8:
Clause a) Clothes may only be given to them if they are in the most deplorable condition possible.
Clause b) While gifting them dresses or materials for Diwali, only ones available on a 1+1 free offer may be given.
Rule no.9: Despite the fact that maids are hired to wash the bathrooms and toilets, they are strictly forbidden from using them, for it will be considered a sin.
Rule no.10: Never ever make it obvious to them that you can't survive without them. Always behave as though you can chuck her/him out any time you want (and secretly pray that they don't leave you in the lurch!)
Since I am a rebel and an expert at flouting rules, I do not employ a maid.
PS: I have not been shunned from society so far.
3 comments:
It is not about not employing a maid but treating those who are employed
Agree with the Anon #1. In India, it's helping a poorer (and for one seeking a maid job) person by offering a maid job. But treating them "nicely" is an impossible task for 99.99% of the Indians, unless they are modern day -- liberal and open-minded -- westerners (including those of Indian origin but of 3rd or 4th gen. Indian who have different attitudes and love ONLY the great things their ancestral land has to offer). :-)
Not employing them, even if you can use some help and can afford to pay them AND can treat them well... well.. I don't know if that's something you can pat on your back for.... Think about it.
Well said Anon "It is not about not employing a maid but treating those who are employed." I am an American of Indian origin, and my folks having grown up and lived in India, never ever had a maid, but often employed temporary workers during weekends and holidays, and treated them wonderfully. Even now when I visit India, they (and I) make a point of telling the family friends and relatives (who have full-time domestic help) about treating them as humans, just as I'd be treated when I was working as sales help and office cleaner (part-time jobs during college years) in the US.
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