Finding appa

I thought I was close to my father, like all daughters who think so and was shaken to realise that I knew only one side of him and had not noticed the fascinating other side of him. My father, as I knew him, was a very patient, not so disciplining, but loving and caring father, Though he was not physically present in most of the important occasions in my life, I knew his heart was with me and felt very blessed that he chose to stay with me during his last days.  He was intelligent, witty and very well read and admired by people who knew him. I got to know him better only during the last few months of his life when he stayed with me after my marriage. Till then, I grew up without realizing that I was the daughter of a genius who was a walking encyclopedia. For me he was the man who brought me lovely dresses and loads of chocolates after each of his trips abroad and who cracked the best jokes in the world and was chilled out even when I carelessly lost valuable items or didn't do well in the exams. I was also scared and intimidated by his knowledge and would pray everyday that he didn't ask me awkward questions about my studies or whether I have read about random stuff he could come up with. He was a voracious reader and had tons of information about any subject under the sun. I was nowhere close to him in this aspect.

But still he was my lovable friend, philosopher and guide and gave some valuable advice regarding life in his own cool style without imposing his opinions on me.
Now after his death, various people come up to me and chat with me about my father, recall incidents about him, narrate how great a man he was, how generous he was etc. I get to know more about him than he was alive .

I learnt about my father's struggle as a young boy when both his parents passed away in quick succession and he had 5 younger siblings to take care of. The kids did not have anything to call their own, as they had sold everything to take care of their ailing mother. My father, who was just 15, with his 5 younger siblings (youngest one being 3 years old), had to take refuge in his grandmother's  house. He had to walk miles everyday after school to take tuitions to meet his expenses for education. Despite not having even two full meals per day, he was outstanding is his school and later on, in college.  He worked as a lab demonstrator earning a paltry sum and could not continue his higher education. But he managed to answer a difficult chemical quiz in an international science journal and the professor from Germany who posted the quiz was impressed by my father's knowledge that my father was invited to Germany to do his higher studies free of cost.

Recently , I came to know that my father has done his research work under Dr. Heisenberg, the Nobel laureate from Germany who is considered as God of quantum physics. In fact, my father, it seems , was the only Asian to have worked under him. I never knew this fact or the topic of his research and I never even asked my father about his student life and his research work.
Its a lesson learnt that we actually do not know our parents or siblings so well though we feel we are close to them. we are all immersed in our day to day life and its chores that we fail to recognise or take time to share the trials and tribulations of our family members.
This post is a tribute to the greatest soul in my life who would have turned 80 this week if he had been alive and also a post to say sorry to his soul for failing to understand his greatness!