Facing a crisis

After a lot of thought about whether I should be blogging about this issue, I am doing it. A huge thank you to a close relative who convinced me to write about it in the hope that it will inspire others who face such problems in life.
Last year, October 2nd, was a memorable day for a reason besides it being Gandhi Jayanthi. It was the day my husband lost his vision all of a sudden. It was very scary for all us. I really can't imagine having to get up one day with absolutely no vision and grope around my own house, banging against things. But full marks to my husband who took the loss in his stride and was very very brave. Looking at him, I knew I should just be focusing on what I should do next and not brood about what has happened. With the little bit of medical knowledge I had, I realized that in case of loss of vision, especially for diabetics (my husband is one), every second becomes valuable since the vision can be retrieved only with early treatment. I prayed that this would be a temporary loss of vision and that he would get back to normal soon.

After a whole round of tests and investigations, the doctor concluded that my husband had suffered peripheral loss of vision. He also added that it was not due to diabetes (diabetics generally have central loss of vision). He said it could be due to vitamin B12 deficiency and put my husband on injections and medications. With continuous treatment, he thought it was possible for my husband to get back his vision, or at the very least, show some improvement.

After about almost a year now, my husband is showing steady improvement. Thanks to his resilience, he also manages to adjust well within his limitations. In fact, he took the blow with such a calm mind that I was amazed. How could anyone be so cool-headed in the face of such crisis? He never got irritated and neither did complain about his handicap.
This episode also threw light on how we take so many things for granted. For one, I never even knew that our vision can be affected in so many ways - loss of peripheral vision, loss of central vision, seeing floaters, having tunnel vision....
Until now, I had taken my perfect vision for granted and even wearing reading spectacles was a task for me. Now I appreciate my well being more than before and I have also learnt a few valuable lessons about how to handle a crisis .
I now know better how hard it is to survive in a city like Mumbai even with a very mild loss of vision and how difficult it must be for someone who is totally blind.
Unless someone close to us is affected we seem to be ignorant of the plight of the people around us. I just hope and pray that someday I can fall back on all these experiences of mine to make other people's life better.

Trip to Andaman

After really a hectic schedule of exams and rounds of clinical visits, we decided we needed a break . A long discussion and thorough research later, we zeroed in on the Andaman islands. It turned out to be a good decision and the trip was absolutely delightful.

Andaman retains the old world charm and is very beautiful. The ocean is blue and people are environmentally conscious. Unlike here in the mainland, shopkeepers are strict about not using plastic bags and littering is not the way of life. The lifestyle remains simple and we didn't see too many high-rise structures.
The best part of the trip was seeing the coral reefs and encountering the tribes.
The trip to the tribal area, by itself was an adventure. The vehicles are allowed into the highly guarded area only at specific timings and in a specific order. Not more than ten vehicles including three buses are allowed inside the area at any given time. The vehicles are escorted by police vehicles and tourists are strictly prohibited from handing over anything to the tribals. But as usual, we could see miscreants in other vehicles throw things out and disregard the rules.

Andaman is proof of a place that is governed well in the absence of political parties and leaders. The surprising part was that people are fluent in more than one local language. We came across a Tamil Nadar (shop keeper) who spoke fluent Bengali and also a few Bengalis who were very fluent in Tamil.

The local tourist guides , in contrast to the film-struck guides of North India, were very passionate about the historical importance of Andaman Islands and gave heart-rending accounts of the sacrifices made by our leaders for our independence, especially about the hardships they faced in the Cellular Jail . We also heard from the locals that there is no theft in the island. It must be a heaven to live in such a place!

I thought it would be a blessing to settle down in such a beautiful, unspoilt island. My children agreed that they too, would like to dump me on an island! This is one punishment I won't mind going through.

Board exams

A few years back, there was an article in Ananda Vikatan about how parents of children writing their Board exams treat the people in general. Any visitor who comes to the house is clearly made to feel uncomfortable and any invitation to a function is rejected with the excuse "My son is in +2" or "My daughter is in tenth".
Now my daughter is writing her Board exams and I vowed never to treat this as a special occasion and put pressure on others. But I failed to realize how much pressure there is from society on us. Last week my cousin sister and her family had come for a short trip and all my neighbours and friends were aghast that I was entertaining guests when my daughter was preparing for her exams. When I went out on a shopping trip to Dadar , I could see plain disgust in the faces of my friends- their thoughts being, what kind of a person is she?
These are just a few instances when there were no words of admonition or advice, but people expected me to show more responsibility. But all through the year, there have been heaps of advise for me regarding how and what I should be doing with a daughter facing her 'Board exams'. "Feed her frequently with protein rich diet" or "Give her lot of carbs" and "You must be crazy not to send her for tuitions. It actually helps students to work systematically" (And I know of students who systematically bunk the classes) or "What ? She is not going for IIT coaching or CET coaching? How do you expect her to do well in the entrance exams? " Its questions and advice all through the year and just to remain sane and do what you think is right for your child is a big task. The influence exercised by the peer parents and the society in general regarding handling a child facing the Board exams is tremendous. I have become a sort of recluse in this one year and dread interacting with anyone, including my kabbadiwala and dhoodhwallah for fear of advice.
I just hope that not bending to the external pressure and holding her own helps my daughter in facing the world and making her confident that she can achieve her goals without being spoon fed (literally!) and without being tutored!

Sports day

During our short stint in Singapore, the children had their Sports Day at school. I was awed by the arrangements, the huge stadium and the specially trained squad of cheerleaders. Having studied in a government-aided school where the classes were packed with children and any event was just limited to a few special invitees among the children. I never got to witness any large scale sports event in my school days.
Now, in Mumbai, my girls urge me to come and enjoy their Sports Day. But I could not make it in the past few years. This year, being the last year at school for my elder daughter, she wanted me to come. But the last minute preparations drove me crazy. Since my daughter was the flag bearer for all the three branches of her school in the march past, she had to be impeccably dressed, with shining white cap and gloves. All the instructions were given to her at the last minute since she was busy with her Preliminary Exams. Ultimately, we ended up finding the gloves and caps, just one night before. And all of those caps and gloves were stark grey- not even close to white. Late into the night, we had to scrub them, wash them with whiteners and due to lack of time, had to dry them fast with hair dryers and table fans. Last minute ironing of the uniform and running around for a suitable coat had pushed me to the limits and I decided that I needed a break. But the thought of missing out on my daughter's last year at Sports Day gave me the impetus to attend it.
And what an eye opener it was! The stadium was as huge as the Singapore one and cheering squad was so colourful and enthusiastic . Each winner was cheered heartily by their school and booed by other schools. For the first time ever, I thought that there is some good in the brimming population of India-such school events are made so colourful because the stadium is full of noise and cute little kids. Comparatively, the event at Singapore downright boring - it was not as noisy and the stadium not as filled as it was here. It was an event of fun and frolic for the kids. I noticed that the parents too were joining the celebrations and cheering.
Truly a memorable day.