Chithi

Among all the roles that I have to play as part of a huge family, most favorite one is the role of chithi (tamil term for aunt, mother's younger sister). I am the fourth daughter in law in my husband's family and hence called chithi by all the kids in the family. On my maternal side too, being the younger daughter, I am the chithi to my sister's kids. . My nieces and nephews open up to me and consider me to be their pal and we have a good time, joking, laughing and sharing anecdotes.
Chithis being the younger daughters of the family share a special bond with their sister's children as they are first kids they get to handle even before marriage and having their own kids. This definitely makes the bonding special and a lasting one too.
I shared the same warmth and comfort with my own chithi. As a college student, I used to run to her place , spend time, eat all the delicacies prepared by her and generally have a very rejuvenating breaks from my routine. I could discuss matters with her which I wouldn't discuss with an elder otherwise. she was a very dependable soul-mate. There was never any hesitation to talk about any topic under the sun nor any awkwardness in her presence. I would even find faults with her beliefs and practices and she would take it in her stride. After years of my marriage, my chithi stayed with me for over two weeks and we had a great time, it was like having my best friend with me. she cooked my favorite recipes and we chatted 24x7. I would count those days as one of the best in my life.
She passed away this week after brief illness but her memories and the best times we shared would stay eternal. The best tribute to her would be to be the best chithi to my nieces and nephews. I am sure all the chithis who share special bonds with their elder sister's children would agree with this topic and share my sentiment.

Election campaigns

Thinking of my mother in law who passed away a few months back at the ripe old age of 85 and my late father  during these days of election campaigns. Why particularly now am I reminded of them?  

My mother in law was a very soft-spoken and kind soul who did as many chores as possible whenever she was around. She took turns to stay with her five sons and had to adjust living with five different women as her daughters in law. Her favourite quote was that its easy to adjust with one mother in law for us than she adjusting to five daughters in law. Though my mother in law wanted to be active within the limitations of her physical strength, her sons , daughters and daughters in law were quick to remind her that she is getting older and she must take rest and enjoy life and not bother herself with the regular chores. Though all this was said because of the affection we all had for her, in the long run, I personally felt that not allowing the elders in the family to actively do what they want is in a way inhibiting their freedom and cutting down their satisfaction that they are doing something purposeful.  It was the same case with my father. He wanted to be active till his very last day, wanted to write books, go around the town to meet his friends (despite being a amputee) , wanted to start his own business venture even past his 70s and we were quick to reprimand him for these and remind him that he was old and not fit enough to do all he desired for.

This sentiment about not allowing the elders to do what they like the most without reminding them that they are older is proven wrong when we observe the recent election campaigns in India . There was this interesting piece of news in the papers that most of the party leaders who were actively campaigning for their parties were mostly septuagenarians or octogenarians (Karunanidhi of DMK is 90, being the oldest of the lot) . I am sure their family members too are a worried lot who think why should their father or uncle tour around the country so much at this ripe old age? But, I am sure these aged leaders enjoy their active lifestyle so much that they would not want to miss the opportunity to be useful to their respective parties. They are the shining examples to prove that age is just a number and its the mind that matters. But as an ordinary citizen would I allow my aged mother to do something on her own and give her the freedom to enjoy her time without being unduly worried whether she would fall sick doing some chore or without feeling irritated that she need not do a particular chore at that age? I am not so sure about myself! But giving the freedom to the aged is a valuable lesson this election campaign has taught me.