Courage in adversity

Few years back, for a brief period , I had to stay alone in Bangalore with two small kids as my husband had been posted to Singapore and I could not move in immediately with him. That brief period of managing two small kids all alone in Bangalore was a tough period. I could not leave them behind in the apartment if I had to go out to buy groceries or vegetables as they were very young and I was scared that they might accidentally do something if left alone. but managing them outside with all the shopping bags and busy roads to cross was a bigger challenge. But the biggest challenge of staying alone was facing the callous attitude of one of the officers of my husband's company  towards me as we were staying in the company given apartment.
As per the rules, we were entitled to occupy the apartment till my children completed the academic year in the school, even if my husband was posted elsewhere. My husband had clearly explained this to me and asked me not to worry about continuing to stay in the apartment. But , out of the blue, one day, a good friend of my husband who was also the senior officer in the company, barged into my apartment and asked me the details as to when I was to vacate the flat. When I explained to him that I was awaiting the visa and school authorities to provide me the necessary transfer certificate for my children, he refused to believe it and said I was overstaying and I could be thrown out any time. Despite being an educated woman and fully aware of the company rules, I was shaken and had to call my husband and inform him about this threat.  I was petrified and was under constant fear that some other officer too could walk in like that and threaten me. Luckily, I vacated the apartment soon after that. Despite being an educated woman, I was afraid of the higher authorities who had the audacity to threaten a housewife in the absence of her spouse. It takes lot of guts to stand up to them and I have  never been a brave one in my life who could raise her voice or show courage while facing rude or abusive people .

Family of Fireman Killed in Mumbai High-Rise Fire Refuses to Take His Body(News headlines)

Therefore, it was a huge surprise for me when I came across this news of a fire fighter’s wife, who was not half educated as me , raise her voice against the authorities who were responsible for her husband's death and blamed their apathy for her husband's death. She even refused to take her husband's body home unless she was assured in writing for a handsome compensation and an assured job for her. The authorities as usual waited for her to relent , but when they knew she was adamant in her demands, they had to given in and had to provide the written assurance she asked for. Now few other fire-fighter’s widows too are coming out with their woes of not being provided with adequate compensation or jobs. But congratulations to this brave woman who stood up even at that moment of personal loss to get justice from the authorities. Truly a lesson of courage for me!

Germany and football!

Germany winning the football world cup this week is the biggest source of joy for me personally. Reason being that I was in Germany during the first meeting of the same two teams, namely , Germany and Argentina , in the world cup final in 1986. I was a typical chennai girl at that time, with hardly any exposure to sports and least of all,  football. So during my stay when the world cup was underway, I could not understand the frenzy that surrounded the game there. It was funny for me to watch people glued to their tv sets whether it was in the office or at home. They spoke of nothing else than football at all times. With limited knowledge of the language then, I was not greatly influenced by their chats but then it was personally boring for me, since I neither understood the game, nor the football fever that grips the population there. I was totally ignorant of how great it is for a national team to qualify for the final until I had to step out on the day of the final and was on the road for about half an hour during the match time, and it was scary. There was not a single soul on the road for miles ahead and my friend who was driving the car was driving at top speed of 200km/hr to reach home to watch the match. I was petrified and for the first time, I realized how much this game meant to this European nation. Maybe all the European countries and even the south american countries are under the same intoxicating influence of this game.

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But I had first hand experience of seeing it, living with it, in Germany and it was sad that they lost the finals that time. Even a double championship in tennis (both Boris Becker and Steffi Graf won the singles titles that year) could not be a consolation for the citizens with that biggest loss in football.
After my stay in Germany, back home , I started watching football matches and especially during the world cups. Again 4 years later, these two teams were the finalists and this time , I understood the craze this game generates worldwide and was cheering wildly for my adopted country, Germany. They won and every world cup after that, I stopped watching the matches, once Germany lost and was never interested in any other country playing the game in the finals. I was becoming a crazy German fan while watching football and hence it was a sweet and memorable moment this time around where the country made me sit and watch them till the finals.
Kudoz Germany!

Finding appa

I thought I was close to my father, like all daughters who think so and was shaken to realise that I knew only one side of him and had not noticed the fascinating other side of him. My father, as I knew him, was a very patient, not so disciplining, but loving and caring father, Though he was not physically present in most of the important occasions in my life, I knew his heart was with me and felt very blessed that he chose to stay with me during his last days.  He was intelligent, witty and very well read and admired by people who knew him. I got to know him better only during the last few months of his life when he stayed with me after my marriage. Till then, I grew up without realizing that I was the daughter of a genius who was a walking encyclopedia. For me he was the man who brought me lovely dresses and loads of chocolates after each of his trips abroad and who cracked the best jokes in the world and was chilled out even when I carelessly lost valuable items or didn't do well in the exams. I was also scared and intimidated by his knowledge and would pray everyday that he didn't ask me awkward questions about my studies or whether I have read about random stuff he could come up with. He was a voracious reader and had tons of information about any subject under the sun. I was nowhere close to him in this aspect.

But still he was my lovable friend, philosopher and guide and gave some valuable advice regarding life in his own cool style without imposing his opinions on me.
Now after his death, various people come up to me and chat with me about my father, recall incidents about him, narrate how great a man he was, how generous he was etc. I get to know more about him than he was alive .

I learnt about my father's struggle as a young boy when both his parents passed away in quick succession and he had 5 younger siblings to take care of. The kids did not have anything to call their own, as they had sold everything to take care of their ailing mother. My father, who was just 15, with his 5 younger siblings (youngest one being 3 years old), had to take refuge in his grandmother's  house. He had to walk miles everyday after school to take tuitions to meet his expenses for education. Despite not having even two full meals per day, he was outstanding is his school and later on, in college.  He worked as a lab demonstrator earning a paltry sum and could not continue his higher education. But he managed to answer a difficult chemical quiz in an international science journal and the professor from Germany who posted the quiz was impressed by my father's knowledge that my father was invited to Germany to do his higher studies free of cost.

Recently , I came to know that my father has done his research work under Dr. Heisenberg, the Nobel laureate from Germany who is considered as God of quantum physics. In fact, my father, it seems , was the only Asian to have worked under him. I never knew this fact or the topic of his research and I never even asked my father about his student life and his research work.
Its a lesson learnt that we actually do not know our parents or siblings so well though we feel we are close to them. we are all immersed in our day to day life and its chores that we fail to recognise or take time to share the trials and tribulations of our family members.
This post is a tribute to the greatest soul in my life who would have turned 80 this week if he had been alive and also a post to say sorry to his soul for failing to understand his greatness!