Crafty christmas

School days were a nightmare for me , not for academics but for the arts and crafts classes. I never had the natural gift for arts, drawing or craft work. While so many of my classmates enjoyed these classes and thought it was nice a break from the routine boring subjects, for me, personally, it was a nightmare as I could never draw a straight line even with the scale and not stitch or do the various embroidery work that was taught in the school. During holidays when all my friends were busy pursuing their artistic skills attending drawing classes and sewing classes, I was happy playing in the hot sun or snuggle up with my favourite books.  I always thought all these craft work could be just a time pass and never a serious enough to make a living out of it. But now with age and maturity , I understand, one should be talented or gifted and hardworking as well to be good craftsman.
Bandra is so full of these crafty decorative materials during Christmas that I enjoy going around the small by lanes to just watch the various dolls and decorative items that are used  for Christmas decorations. In fact every small shop and bigger showrooms too actually remove their regular showcase materials and place these small dolls of Jesus Christ and the scenes depicting his birth. Even a traffic jam at the junction of these shops become an enjoyable experience with people, kids included busily clicking pictures of these cute doll arrangements and colourful decorations. Looking at the expressions on the face of the passers by I realise how much one should be gifted to make these dolls that brings joy to so many irrespective of the strata of the society they belong to. Kudoz to all those who are actually making a living being craftsmen.

To dye or not to dye

Being in the middle age, even though I have not inherited my father's mental abilities or my mother's cooking skills, I am happy that at least I am genetically blessed to have black tresses from my parents. Both started greying quite late in life and my hair has just started turning grey in patches. But the inherent fear that grey hair is an indicator of age makes me pull them out whenever I get the chance. But my daughters and husband are of the strong opinion that one has to age gracefully and accept these signs of ageing with dignity.  I am trying to convince myself that dyeing my hair is not yet an option and its a big question whether I would be comfortable using a chemical dye or herbal dye that is available in the market since I am not a great fan of the wide variety of cosmetics available in the market. In fact I feel so uncomfortable applying make-up that  I turned out without make-up even on my wedding day.  So, to dye or not to dye my hair is a big question I have to face in the near future.

I have fallen into the habit of observing people around  me for signs of age (quite a popular pastime in the middle ages , I guess) and amazed at the urban middle class population who are not shy of using any amount of cosmetics to make them look younger. Other day, I was waiting with my husband to see his doctor at the nearby hospital and the one hour of waiting period made me realize that there was not a single person in the waiting area with grey hair though the majority of them were above 60. Even the doctor himself, who I guess should be more than 50 didn't have a single strand of grey hair. But the most amusing part of this observation was that even though people are trying their best to hide their age behind the dyes, I could still guess that they were not young. Every filmstar you see including thespian Dilip Kumar to haggard Sanjay Dutt to ever fit Kamalahaasan strut around proudly with thick black tresses.  But we know that they are no longer young but still they want us to believe that they are young. More than any other cosmetic, I think hair dyes are the most popular and widely consumed ones irrespective of the gender and hope one day there is some survey regarding this.
Southern cinestar Ajith Kumar seems to be one exception in this crowd who has happily settled for his salt and pepper look and is even daring enough to take up roles which suit this look rather than the other way round. Hope I get the same courage to face the world with my shining grey hair ala Medha Patkar, the social activist and not think about these things as important than fighting for a social cause. Hope I get that maturity and dignity few years down the line.

Democracy for rapists?

Past few months, especially since the infamous Delhi rape case last December, Indian media has been relentless in exposing rape cases , not even sparing the high and mighty involved in them. From Asaram Bapu to Tehelka editor now, there are endless stories everyday. I feel, women are more forthcoming now a days and are becoming bolder  to go against the mighty and powerful if they have been wronged. Kudoz to these women who have the guts to do so. But women being abused dates back to centuries and even Sita from Ramayan and Draupadi from Mahabarat are no exceptions. At least one woman in every Indian family is sexually abused by her own husband or uncles or cousins or family friends.

I, personally, was disturbed by a piece of article by an Indian dignitary's wife on how she was sexually abused by a visiting international dignitary and how she could never come out in the open for years about the abuse and had to carry on with her normal life as though nothing had happened. If a high profile woman has to undergo this, imagine the plight of millions of women belonging to middle class and lower strata of the society.  My own childhood experiences were so traumatic that I am too scared about the security of my daughters. I am scared to allow them to travel alone in public transport or stay overnight at even a close friend's or relative's house. You never know who could misbehave with them.

How can we put an end to this trauma? I feel its time India stopped being proud of being a democratic country. Justice is never on time here. I feel, we should just follow the model of Arab countries to punish the guilty.  Once proven guilty, the culprit should be punished in full view of the public. This would create fear in the minds of the wrong doers. Till such time I can only pray that my girls return home safely and every other girl on the street is smart enough to protect herself.

Trip down the (memory) lane!

I spent a greater part of my  childhood days in a particular locality in chennai and  although I have lived in various parts of the country now, still love to go to my favorite childhood locality and see how many of my childhood friends, uncles and aunties and other known faces are still there. All these years I didn't get the opportunity to do so. But during the recent stay in Chennai, I managed to visit the locality and was shocked to see the rapid development there. It was saddening to see that all the open spaces and sprawling bungalows have given way to innumerable shops and hotels and boutiques and high rise flats. I was trying to find at least one house or building that retained its original structure that would bring back my sweet childhood memories. But sadly none was there.

I was behaving like a lost child and was standing in the same street where I grew up like as though I never knew the place. It was heart wrenching and was like losing one part of my self. Not a single face I could recognise, not a single soul to say "hey, how are you? seeing you after a long time". I was heart broken on my return. Suddenly there was a heavy downpour for about fifteen minutes , as though skies were crying with me.  And I had to wade through knee deep water to walk back and was pleasantly reminded of my childhood days when we had to literally carry our school bags on our heads and walk in knee deep water to reach the bus stand to go to school. This experience of walking again in knee deep water brought a smile to my face and felt relieved that at least there is one aspect to the locality that has remained the same for years.
But the realization that development is not only about razing down old structures and constructing new ones but also involves infrastructural developments like sufficient water, electricity , sewage , drainage and good roads struck me hard.People are interested in developing their own space and don't think of collective development of the area and politicians are busy making money in their short tenure and not interested in the larger good of the community. Till they do so, our hardships due to lack of infrastructure would remain the same for years.

Starbucks coffee or filter coffee

Living in an evolving locality like Bandra makes my life interesting. Every other day , I see a new international eatery opening its branch here. Being a hi-profile suburb with almost all the bollywood stars living here, this is no surprise. Recent addition to this trend is, Starbucks coffee outlet. It is so close to my residence that I am forced to walk past the outlet almost every day.

Like typical tambrams, I and my husband cannot live without our daily dose of steaming hot filter coffee. Whenever we are out of station,  good filter coffee is one item we crave for. Immediately after settling down in Mumbai , the first thing I wanted to know was where I could get good coffee powder for my filter coffee. I realized that practically all south Indians living on this side of Mumbai, ordered their coffee powder from typical south Indian areas like Matunga or Mulund. We coffee lovers can go to any length of the city to get our favourite coffee powder. It is universally applicable for all tambrams. Seeing international outlets like Starbucks or Barista or Bru cafes makes me wonder whether they would survive in a filter coffee loving towns like Thanjavur or Kumbakonam in South India. In fact, I and my husband have tried drinking different varieties of coffee at Barista, Starbucks or Columbian coffee outlets and have always comeback feeling that our own filter coffee is the best anywhere we go.  The aroma of coffee filtering through our traditional coffee filters is one addicitve aroma without which we cannot imagine our mornings. I am still not able to accept cold coffee as a genuine cup of coffee. It is more like any other milkshake we have.  So, as far as I am concerned, south indian filter coffee is way ahead of all those coffees served at flashy international outlets. Come and taste our coffee and you will only return for more.

Being on par with Tata and Birla

Recently there was a show on tv about people who have fallen from the financially good times they had to poverty. I was reminded of the days of my financial struggles and a valuable advice from my father at that time.

Till the time I got married I was blissfully unaware of any financial problems my parents had and though I was not demanding, I always got what I wanted and was a very happy teenager. After completing my studies, I  worked for few years and never thought I lacked anything. But when I got married I was just into my 20s, had resigned my job and was innocent enough to think that life would be the same. Within days I realized that life is not a bed of roses and suddenly , I had to manage all the chores, buy groceries, vegetables , milk and manage my travel expenses too with the amount my husband earned. The salary he brought home was just enough for the two of us and any extra expenditure like travelling or medical expenses were creating a hole in our budget. I then realised the value my mother's frugal savings had on our family when my father was jobless for few years and we were four school going children in the family and our parents were also supporting few other cousins who had come down from villages and stayed with us for their education.
I , on the other hand, found it difficult managing the household for just the two of us despite a steady income. The situation only became worse with the addition of children and steady visitors. My father, who rarely visited me, was at my place at a time when I was totally frustrated with the financial situation.  I was tempted to ask him how he managed when he was jobless. His words were valuable. He said financial difficulty is the least of the problem one can face in life. Life is difficult if one has to face physical abuse or mental torture , but not a financially difficult phase. He said , even the richest in the world, or the greatest businessmen like Tata or Birla have their financial problems. It could be about generating finance for their next venture or facing a loss in the earlier venture. it is only the magnitude which varies, and no one is spared of the financially difficult phases. Its the attitude you have towards the material assets that will carry you forward and tide over the worst financial situation.
With that gem of an advice from my father, I now know that I am blessed in more than one way in having a loving family and not facing physical or mental torture and having less of materialistic aspirations.

Kolkatta trip and woes on the highway

To say that I was excited to make my first trip to eastern India, that too the city of joy, Kolkatta would be an understatement. Though the trip was to leave my daughter at her institute for higher studies and the realization of leaving her was tearing my heart, I was also looking forward to visit the city after watching the thriving city in the movie ,Kahani". The dum dum airport was very impressive and was far better than the Mumbai airport. But there ended the impressive part about the city.
We had to travel to Mohanpur , a 50 km drive from the airport. We estimated that it would take approximately 2 hours to cover the distance. But what a miscalculation it turned out to be! We had to take NH 34 and calling that a national highway is a shame. It was full of potholes and adding to our woes was the heavy downpour filling the roads with slush and pools of water. It took us nearly four hours to cover the distance of 50kms and any hope of excitement to see anything more of West Bengal quickly vanished. even the beautiful but underdeveloped landscapes en-route did not enhance my mood. I was worried as to how my daughter would travel this route to come back home or even to visit the Kolkatta city. I pity the citizens who need to take this route as a routine. It was a backbreaking journey and even the traffic discipline I noticed on this stretch did not cheer me up or give me the courage to on a sightseeing trip. Hopefully, I would muster courage to do it before my next trip to the city of joy.

Catching up with friends

Recently I got active with my college reunion efforts. we are completing 25 years of graduating out. It was a revelation of sorts about friends who we think would be the same after 25 years. Friends are a mixed bag. Those I thought were naive have turned out to be really smart and those I thought were average in academics have actually turned out be academicians or quite successful in life.  I am also coming across friends who have lost their spouses and facing life with gusto, but sadly there are also friends who , as a student, I thought were quite dependable but have actually become aloof and are not showing that much interest in the reunion efforts. Those I thought were aloof during college days have turned out be friendlier now and want to keep in touch.

But the close group of my friends, touchwood, have remained the same. Maybe because we have been in touch all these years. Despite the absence of a social networking platform like facebook for a large number of years we have managed to keep in touch with each other and are able to bond with each other the same way. Though we don't meet in person, we are able to share our joys and worries with the same comfort level as it was 25 years back. I can vouch that friends are necessary to give us a different perspective of matters in life and it does help to have so many shoulders to share your burden.