A few years back, there was an article in Ananda Vikatan about how parents of children writing their Board exams treat the people in general. Any visitor who comes to the house is clearly made to feel uncomfortable and any invitation to a function is rejected with the excuse "My son is in +2" or "My daughter is in tenth".
Now my daughter is writing her Board exams and I vowed never to treat this as a special occasion and put pressure on others. But I failed to realize how much pressure there is from society on us. Last week my cousin sister and her family had come for a short trip and all my neighbours and friends were aghast that I was entertaining guests when my daughter was preparing for her exams. When I went out on a shopping trip to Dadar , I could see plain disgust in the faces of my friends- their thoughts being, what kind of a person is she?
These are just a few instances when there were no words of admonition or advice, but people expected me to show more responsibility. But all through the year, there have been heaps of advise for me regarding how and what I should be doing with a daughter facing her 'Board exams'. "Feed her frequently with protein rich diet" or "Give her lot of carbs" and "You must be crazy not to send her for tuitions. It actually helps students to work systematically" (And I know of students who systematically bunk the classes) or "What ? She is not going for IIT coaching or CET coaching? How do you expect her to do well in the entrance exams? " Its questions and advice all through the year and just to remain sane and do what you think is right for your child is a big task. The influence exercised by the peer parents and the society in general regarding handling a child facing the Board exams is tremendous. I have become a sort of recluse in this one year and dread interacting with anyone, including my kabbadiwala and dhoodhwallah for fear of advice.
I just hope that not bending to the external pressure and holding her own helps my daughter in facing the world and making her confident that she can achieve her goals without being spoon fed (literally!) and without being tutored!
